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Paul E's avatar

I have read a number of your articles over the years.  I admired that you could and did wander about from place to place while commenting on your observations and experiences.  To move about without knowing what the next day would bring seemed a very brave existence.  I, myself, moved from job to job with the  security of a regular paycheck being the main principal perhaps.  I've mostly known what the next day would bring as well as the next day after that.  There were exceptions though.

After one of the jobs I had for only a short time was corporately restructured, I moved back to be near my parents to look for more employment. (the reason maybe because they meant security).  Soon though, I was past broke and taking cash advances on credit cards to pay credit cards.  (I never want to do that again) Just in time, a union shop offered me a job.  And I was back on my feet and doing well again and in a large house with a large mortgage and in a relationship with a woman that was only made possible by the miracle of Viagra and my paycheck.  Soon though, that fell apart and I was in the house alone.  I could still afford it, week to week, though it was not exciting to be working only for a house and lonely hobbies.

I went to the Robert E Lee statue in Richmond Va where a (engineered) protest was occurring and met a very young Vietnamese woman who was photographing for the ACLU.  She approached me in conversation.  She was in a marriage of convenience and wanted to visit me in my house.  I say okay, still thinking with my drug overdosed half penis and my cluttered up mind of mixed passions. But I was also intrigued by the wordly wisdom that accompanied her youth as well as her bravery.  When entering the house, she sees the grand piano in the sun room.  Politely, she asks to play.  Of course, be my guest.  As a beginning music student, I'd love to hear her play.  She plays beautifully to my ears some classical type music.  Near the end though, I straddle the girl and start to play on each end left and right. 

Almost immediately, I imagine a picture.  A big odious american playing both sides of a beautiful young asian girl.  I became somewhat horrified as it seemed a perfect reflection of the region at the time of my birth. What am I?  I soon realized that I was no longer willing to do what was necessary to maintain the illusion that I was living. I sold the house and I started selling my possessions, with the mind that I would start anew somewhat with out all the clutter.  Amidst this process, I get the news about someone dear to me.  Her husband and the father of two children decided that he was a she.  Well he goes and cuts his.., well, he does surgery and takes hormone pills.  And now he, that had a life like one I have only dream of having, is now a she, or something other than a man.

This triggers me and I go ballistic.  In my mind, I start pushing the button and am ready to nuke the whole place with a Steppenwolf song blaring in my head.  It's too late now, it's done.  I think.

I was wondering what happened to my pedestrian friend from the other side of the world as I haven't seen the writing of Mr Linh  Dinh in quite awhile.  I look on substack.  And there he is.  He speaks of the leering loonies of the west wanting to blow everything up.  I hate it all it seems,  but for what its worth, I did enjoy reading your musings Linh Dinh.  I am near pedestrianism myself with few possessions remaining, and am unsure what the next day will bring, let alone the day after that. I am bored though and running out of money and will likely look for employment once again in the world of long hours and scarce human engagement. That seems about the safest way for this one to have indoor plumbing and climate control. What once was a minimum requirement, now looks more and more like a luxury even if I may be around only rarely to enjoy.

In a rage, I pushed the proverbial button. Now I hesitate to click the send button. What have I become?

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Frank Drevin's avatar

Can you believe that the US is bombing Iraq in 2024? It boggles the mind. Our leaders are the worst humans that have ever existed.

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