Chopped Dicks For Sale
[Kondo Akihiko, bullied virgin who married an anime character]
Arriving at the café on General Uprising too early, I sat at a darkened corner to wait. Cautiously, a yellow cat approached but stopped in the middle of an empty street seven yards away. Eyeing his prospective donor or friend with no benefit, this beast deliberated for a minute before deciding my smile and snapping fingers were just jive. Since there are butchers and fish mongers everywhere, stray cats and dogs in Vietnam don’t starve. Those kept as pets generally eat leftovers. It’s healthier than pet food, but that’s making an inroad.
In the South and Northern cities, their chances of being eaten are slim. Little tiger, tiểu hổ, is the euphemism for catmeat. In Vung Tau, you can take the plunge at a matter-of-fact joint on Nguyễn Trường Tộ just south of the Trần Đồng roundabout. Nearby is my favorite vegetarian buffet, Minh Bảo. Even in futuristic South Korea, dogmeat won’t be banned until January of 2027. By then, dogmeat treats will likely be available in Mississippi, Ohio, Pennsylvania and, of course, California. Bankrupt McDonald’s franchises will reopen as In-N-Out Little Tiger. Only 16% of South Koreans have tried dogmeat.
There’s a kitten at this café. Just now, he came by for some affection. Needing human caresses, this pussy is too civilized, so won’t last one day in the wild. On the streets, he’ll still get by. A butcher within sight is already open at 5AM. Times aren’t so hard that all gristly scraps must be saved for furless primates. Overly fussy when well fed, their civility unravels rapidly with hunger. Neighbors they’ll eat, but own children too?
On a bobbing boat about to break apart, a woman has a bottle of water, but not her neighbor, a stranger. Just one sip, he repeatedly pleads, so, finally, she hands it to him. After draining most of it, he clutches tightly what remains while glaring at her. Over my dead body, his dilated pupils and bared teeth clearly convey. “Is this true?” rises a chorus. Some add, “It’s just crappy fiction from a hysterical writer.”