Foot Kissers Near and Far
[Long Khánh, 3/16/25]
Leaving Long Khánh, I walked by its Ford dealership. Among the SUV’s parked outside was a Territory. A promotional video online shows an elegant woman practically dancing behind the wheel. Each trip on a Territory is beyond onanism, so make sure you wear dark pants and have a towel or tissues handy. Ford should install a pole so chicks like her can hang upside down, with their legs spread towards God in gratitude.
If you have the cash up front, a Territory costs just $34,900. A Vietnamese bank teller makes $500 a month. A convenience store clerk earns $332. I saw a huge billboard advertising drawings for trips overseas. First prize is ten days in the USA. Second is Japan, then South Korea, Singapore and Thailand.
Winning a trip to Paradise doesn’t guarantee you’ll get a visa, but you ain’t gonna win anyway. Still, you’re free to dream of seeing New York, Washington, Las Vegas, LA, San Francisco and the Grand Canyon in just ten days. You’ll barf freedom fries by the end. At each site, you’ll get roughly 30 seconds to snap selfies to prove you were somewhere. If mugged at the Trocadero, you’ll even have a twisted face or missing eye to show off to the poor folks back home.
Territories are for the budget minded. An Everest Platinum will set you back $60,000. That’s three times the domestic VinFast VF8. It’s only natural to pay much more for an American brand. Ford Territories are actually made in China!
Returning to Vung Tau, I stopped in Bà Rịa for a few hours. Looking for Retro Café, I found In The Mood for Love. Did I see that Wong Kar-Wai flick so long ago? Knowing I only had one chance, I, like everybody else, used to be most attentive in collective darkness. One missed word or gesture changed the texture or even meaning of everything. Today’s brain damaged never had a chance at Fassbinder, Tarkovsky, Fellini or Cassavetes.
What caught my eye was In The Mood’s tiny veranda and its air vents, harking to an era when air conditioning was rare. I was informed and nurtured by such buildings. When porches were common in the USA, its citizens were more human.