From Pigshit to Halfway Up the Pig
[Socialist Republic of Vietnam’s coupon for 3.5 ounces of pork in 1970]
Just 18 months ago, I couldn’t walk three blocks. Yesterday, I tallied at least seven miles, mostly barefoot. I passed Vung Tau’s only Ukrainian restaurant, now hurting badly due to fewer Russians coming in. Most are oil workers living nearby with their families. There’s an excellent smoked veal joint in that neighborhood, but I couldn’t find it. For months, I haven’t carried a cellphone in Vung Tau.
Cu Chi is not just famous for its tunnels, but veal. Smoked, it’s eaten with raw plantain, carambola, fish mint, basil, lemon basil, cilantro, white onion and cluster fig leaves. The dip is fermented anchovies seasoned with salt, sugar and powdered cayenne pepper, then sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds. An indispensable genius touch is unboiled rice roasted golden then finely ground. It’s dusted, little by little, on your nearly raw meat. Without this eroticism, enraged diners might just burn down your restaurant. Viets can be very fussy eaters.
Tired and footsore, I chanced upon another smoked veal joint. It was filled with half drunk men being boisterous. The only females were the waitresses and a very old seller of lottery tickets. Everyone ignored her as she hobbled with a quad cane from table to table. On an ancient bike, she then rode away without tipping over. As the only solo diner, I ordered seven ounces for $4.73, plus 79 cents of boiled peanuts, to nibble while waiting.
A Vietnamese eats five ounces of meat per day. For an American, it’s 12 ounces, the most worldwide. From 1976 to the end of 1986, a Viet consumed less per month! An ordinary citizen was rationed just 10.5 ounces. Top Communist dogs ate much more. With six tiers, Commies codified inequality. Today, only Congolese are so malnourished.
Fighting against Cambodia and China removed men from production. Beijing also cut off aid. Washington didn’t just enforce a trade embargo, but forced Hanoi to repay debts incurred by Saigon! That’s like making bombed victims pay for the bombs. Even with these extraordinary circumstances, Vietnam, as one of the world’s top rice growers, should still have been able to feed itself. Food shortages or even famines are common, however, under Communism, with its collective farms and micro management of all aspects of the economy. When it’s not their own farm or store, people slack off and steal.