Kawaii Taipei

[Taipei, 9/24/24]

It’s settled, I’m moving to Taiwan. Forget this miserable SubStack racket, I’ll spend all my time and money at day or night games of the Rakuten Monkeys, 7-11 Lions and Weichuan Dragons. Fuck the baseball. I’ll have my soul fixated on the dancing cheerleaders. Being Vietnamese, I was under the impression Orientals had no rhythm, but this morning, my first in Taipei, I just had to worship the dancing girl on Tomorrow Hotel’s lobby’s TV screen. With my mouth shamelessly agape, I disgusted if not terrified the Filippino tourists, sitting at nearby tables. Once you’ve seen gods (or goddesses), you just don’t give a fuck.

Coming in last night, I had no problems exchanging money, getting a SIM card then hopping on the high-speed rail to go downtown. As I started to congratulate myself, sure as shit something had to happen. Getting off one station too early, I suddenly found myself on Mars, with no friends or jetpack, so half an hour was wasted wandering around Sanchong District. This did give me another opportunity to reflect on man’s essential and unfixable loneliness. Such thoughts come easier if you’ve been bouncing around for 18 hours. Getting back onto the high-speed, I did find the metro so, before I knew it, I emerged from Ximen Station to find so much liveliness, I was ecstatically home. I had exactly the same feeling leaving Florence’s airport in 2002. Flying into Dulles in 2004, my heart sank.

Before I go on, I must thank my core readers at SubStack. Audiences matter. At Unz, I was in constant danger of having my thinking and emotions distorted, and my very language compromised. Enabled by Unz, that sabotage was intentional. Enlarged, the same dynamics have degraded the entire West. Nearly all of it has become the Jerry Springer Show.

The receptionist at Tomorrow was so pleasant and lovely. “Are the foreign tourists still coming?” I asked.

“Yes, yes.”

“There’s no decline.”

“No, we have people from Malaysia, Indonesia, South Korea, Philippines…”

“What about Americans?”

“They come.”

“No one is afraid of China?”

“No,” she laughed.

In the hospitality business, of course Olivia had to put on her best face. She wasn’t lying, though, when she said Tomorrow was full. It’s a fantastic budget option at a wonderful location.

There was this taped note in the elevator, “Please press harder, thank you!” Shit, man, is this a whorehouse?! No such luck, it’s just a quiet hotel where I had the best sleep.

Exhausted, I didn’t even have dinner last night. On VietJet, I paid $6 for the worst spaghetti with red sauce. That’s what they must have served in Auschwitz, I thought. The truth will come out. Eager to jot down my first impressions, I haven’t had breakfast. It’s 9:57AM.

Walking around this morning, I noticed a building that reminded me of Tokyo Station, so it must have been built by the Japanese. They were here 50 years. Their island, Yonaguni, is just 67 miles away. When the Kuomingtang took over Taiwan in December of 1949, there were many more Taiwanese who spoke Japanese than Mandarin.

Keep in mind Taiwan was only absorbed into China by the Manchus in 1683. For decades, Chinese loudly debated whether it was worth it to incorporate this “ball of mud” overran by naked, tattooed savages. The few “Chinese” already here were Hakkas and Hoklos (or Hokkienese). Braving the turbulent waves to reach Taiwan in 1697, Yu Yonghe had to congratulate himself, “By nature I am addicted to distant travel and I am fearless of obstacles and danger. Ever since Taiwan was put on the map, I have said that I would not be satisfied until I could see the place for myself.”

Fuck you, Yu! I’ve already seen more of Taiwan than you, Yu, for there’s more of everything here, including tattooed savages. They’re taking their inspiration from America, however.

Barechested, a muscled young man lies in a bathtub, looking cool. His chest is inked with stars, a diamond and an eagle. The sphinx and a demonic looking baby decorate his right biceps. Above him, it says in English, “I BREATHE OF OPULENCE.” Below, “MORNING VIBE.” Nearby, there was a Taiwanese version of Lil’ Wayne on another ad.

Sitting on a couch, a young couple wear quarter zip polo shirts with “COLORADO” on them. Of course, few Taiwanese know that state, with its increasingly squalid Denver and alarming Aurora. Colorado just means the USA or, if they’re more informed, the Rocky Mountains. Though evoking America, they’re sweet and wholesome, but kawaii doesn’t fly there, man! You’ve got to look like you’re ready to kill and let God sort them out! Even Diddy buggered baby faced Justin Bieber had to come off like a gangbanger.

Since it’s already noon, I must stop to get lunch.

One more snapshot. A scrawled graffiti, “BABYELLOWBUTT,” and right below it, a kabuki demonic mask on this sticker, “YELLOW FEVER.” Made me think of an American in his 50’s who circulates between Taiwan, Thailand and Vietnam. Afflicted with yellow fever, he’ll die an adolescent. Shooting them up is all they know.

[Taipei, 9/24/24]

[Taipei, 9/24/24]

[Taipei, 9/24/24]

[Taipei, 9/23/24]