With US missile and drone stocks depleted to alarming levels, Trump has decided to fly a specially designed F-35 to Iran, and just defecate on them. That AI video of him crapping on American protesters was just an appetizer. Wearing neither pants nor diaper, Trump will sit on a toilet seat above an open hatch and let fly. Asked if he had enough fecal matter to terrorize a vast nation of 93.2 million people, Trump responded with his typical swagger, “I have enough shit to murder the entire world. My stench alone is more than enough.”
As a tribute to ICE, Trump will wear a black mask, which leads us to wonder, Maybe it’s Pete Hegseth, Barron Trump or even Melania being sent on this historical mission? Why not just use some MAGA idiot? None, though, is as full of shit as the above. Asked about this, Trump reflected, something he’d never done, for two or three seconds, then explained, “As the second coming of Jesus, I can’t be shot down. Plus, I can’t stand sharing any of my glory with anyone. Would you expect any less from the greatest US President ever?”
Then, “I can’t wait to fly over Tehran with hurricane level wind blowing up my ass. Widened through so many exciting episodes of cornholing and fist fucking, it’s made for this biblical occasion, God told me last night.”
After three or four more seconds of deep thoughts, he’s getting the hang of this, Trump sighed, “Assholes have been accusing me of raping little girls. Well, I do that too, but nothing beats a sustained session of digestive tract intimacy. Goes especially well with a Filet-O-Fish. I always demand a fistful of tartar sauce packets, of course. The name itself makes me think of sharing a private moment with someone like Genghis Khan. As a badassed dictator, he ranks second only to me. What’s wrong with two alpha males performing a 69? With Genghis long dead, this can’t happen, unfortunately, so I’ll just commission a gigantic painting, to be displayed at the National Gallery. Beats all the crap they have in there.”
Trump’s wonderful monologue was rudely interrupted by another fake news, low IQ reporter, “Sir, sir, does this mean all our long suffering sailors can just go home?”
“No, no, they’ll be in floating around the Strait of Trump and the Trump Gulf forever, even with Iran completely destroyed.”
“But why, sir?”
“I must punish these cowards for staging mini mutinies. I never forget any slight, except those coming from China. Those crafty Orientals do it so subtly, it’s like nothing happens, so all is forgotten and forgiven. As for our suckers and losers, dumb enough to enlist to kill and die for that indispensable nation, I mean Israel, of course, I’ll make it easier on them by having a grand ballroom on each ship. Not just aircraft carriers, but all destroyers, cruisers and even submarines. We’ll figure it out. Already gay from so many days at sea, they can now slow dance before fistfucking. To show my common touch, I may even join them, hopping from ship to ship. As you all know, many sailors are quite hot, and I’m the leader of the hottest nation. It makes perfect sense. Dumbshits thought I didn’t know YMCA was a gay anthem, but, even when out of breath, we sang that song before, during and after!” Turning dreamy, Trump added, “I could be turned on by Arnold Palmer and even Bill Clinton, you must remember.” Here, Trump paused to wipe away a tear. “Only problem with these sailors is that none is underaged, but that can be fixed, with an executive order! I will lower the age for servicemen to 11. Less than that will seem unseemly. As the most visible nation ever, we mustn’t neglect appearance.”
A fat female had to interject, “How will you pay for all these floating ballrooms, sir?”
“Only a pig like you would ask such a dumb question! How do you think we’ve paid for anything else?! By printing money!”
“But inflation is already out of control, sir. How will Americans eat?”
“Fake news! Fake news!”
“A pound of ground beef is already $7!”
“Only a pig like you would know such figures, but since you’re kinda cute, despite your extra pounds, I’ll let you in on a secret. We’re trying to kill off pigs like you! Plus all the MAGA morons, especially farmers, since they’re dumb enough to believe all my bullshit. Tariffs against China led them Chinks to retaliate, so red state farmers are especially fucked! My kicking out nearly all their workers didn’t help. Plus, prices for fertilizer and diesel have become sky high! Only pigs like you can fail to see I’ve had all this planned out. As one who’s never had a speck of dirt under his fingernails, I hate all hicks, rednecks, hillbillies and MAGA farmers! They stink worse than me!”
Marching in, Natalie Harp announced, “That’s it for today, folks.” She then whispered into Trump’s unnicked right ear, “It’s time for me to change your diaper, baby. Today, I’ll tickle your shit smeared balls for as long as you like. How about it?”
“Yes, mommy,” Trump could be heard mumbling as they exited.
I tried reading this in my head in Trump's voice but it was impossible. Too many multisyllabic words to make it sound like him. Everything that passes his lips has to be truncated, including circumcised jewish cock.
Americans (the most heavily armed population in the world) actually put up with this shit. The only regular political statements that Americans make with their guns are school shootings.
$lumvillians needs to flush this stinking, pedovore orange turd from the evil orangutan already. Remember if you don't do it soon the Bear and the Dragon certainly will as the world is sick to death of this Nutnyahoo Epstein zionazi shit show. Onward ever faster to the inevitable and long overdue civil war reloaded.