So Many Ladyboys, So Rare a Đề Thám

[Anti-French leader Hoàng Hoa Thám (1858-1913)]

On 4/26/25, 41-year-old Fu Tongyuan was arrested at Suvarnabhumi Airport. The Chinese was trying to escape Thailand after murdering a ladyboy in Pattaya. This is yet another case of someone buying vaginal sex only to discover, with understandable shock, his rented lover has a penis. Adhering to politically correct usage, even the Vietnamese press reports the victim as a “cô gái,” or young woman. Scratch marks on Fu’s face betrayed a savage struggle. The ladyboy’s heart was found next to his naked body. One of his lungs was missing.

I thought of this case because a sidewalk coffee seller, that lady from Thái Bình, asked me this morning, “What do you think of phonies?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, people who pretend to be what they aren’t?”

Since such a definition includes absolutely everyone, I brought up an egregious example. I told her about Dzuy, that housepainter who pretends to be a retired math teacher, lover of poetry and, sometimes, Vietnamese-American, all to snag pussies, mostly middle-aged. He can’t get no better.