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Rabbitnexus's avatar

I dare say most people will live their lives without being charmed by a black swan. LOL. I'm from Perth, Western Oz and they're native here. Black Swans are vicious, unfriendly even murderous bastards. They are charmless c_nts. I've seen them trying to drown a kayaker and heard of their attacks plenty of times here on Swan River. Not even naming the river after them improved their disposition. When they're just eating, swanning about and mating, they may look pleasant enough. You might even come across a park where a flock of them reasonably politely go around accepting offerings from the two legs. You're not supposed to feed them, but you've got a choice who to obey and when a pair of beady eyes surrounded by red tattoos and a coal black body is staring you down, who you gonna call? They target the prone too, so they're bigger than you.

That's the best of them. In nesting time, if you go anywhere near them they will fuck you up. They put their nests among the reeds so usually you'd have to be in the water, but some fishermen and kayakers, even swimmers can inadvertently find themselves in the death zone. They wrap their long necks around your neck and pull you underwater. I'd just called out to the kayaker to warn him about swans when a pair of them came blasting out from the reeds with all the noise and down-wash of a chopper and swiped the guy from his boat. Then one of them wrapped it's neck round his head, another four of them started flying over from the other side of the river honking madly too. It looked like they were saying, "Hold onto him Bill, we're coming, keep its head underwater .." They didn't look like rescuers but reinforcements. He did get back to his kayak and swam it out of reach. Lost his paddle though and we agreed it was their war booty. Anyway, cross being charmed by them off your bucket list or look at a Youtube video of them. They've got tame actors in those. You could always add "Fight off a Black Swan attack" though and come for a visit.

Everything here has ways to kill you. Have you ever heard the roar of a "cute cuddly" koala? My idea of a scary thing, would be a roaring bull koala riding a black swan. With a death adder for a club.

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Eclectricity's avatar

It was good to find your site here, and to know that you are well. Your last post on Unz was in December. I understand very well why you left.

Someday perhaps you will find a publishing company to put together a beautiful coffee table book of selected photos and essay from your years of work. A signed, limited edition would be splendid. I am sure you would find many customers.

Stay safe and well. Your insights are so valuable. You are needed.

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