Teaching Mein Kampf at the University of Tel Aviv (4)

[Philadelphia, 5/31/16]

On my way to class, I passed professor Havi Dreifuss. To my cordial shalom, she just glared. Though the Philly in me felt like snapping, “You got a problem, bitch?!” I simply said, “My name is Linh Dinh. Some of your students are in my class. I teach Reading Mein Kampf.”

Though I did arrest professor Dreifuss, she still wouldn’t speak. Her Covid cum Zyklon B gas mask didn’t help. It looked exactly like a bondage dildo gag, but without that red ball. Perhaps unwisely, I attempted an erotic joke, “Though I don’t look like a Jew, you can check for yourself, after a Chinese meal and a few stiff drinks?” To illustrate, I gyrated my hip ever so slightly. “New in town, I haven’t gotten any date rape drug! Of course, we won’t need any. You won’t regret me!”

Notice how I said “we.” Always a gentleman, I never ignore my partner’s needs, no matter how twisted. Jews are renown.

My dear students and most tender beginners, let’s say professor Dreifuss has no sense of humor. She’s certainly less mirthful than Hitler.

Though not known for his jokes, there’s this in Mein Kampf, “For once, however, the parliamentarians made an appropriate decision on that occasion, for wooden heads would be out of place between stone walls.” He’s talking about their decision to use stucco instead of stone inside the Reichstag. I don’t see Jewish booking agents scrambling to sign Adolf. Do they have amateur nights at Fat Black Pussycat or Comedy Cellar in Greenwich Village? Once established, Hitler can have professor Havi Dreifuss as his opening act.