From Windhoek, Namibia, 12/7/21: In Hanoi in 1998, poet Phan Huyen Thu gave me an anthology of the earliest Vietnamese prose, a book that’s now in a box in Moorestown, NJ, at my friend Ian Keenan’s house. Along with all my other books, which constitute my mental terrain, roughly, I won’t see it again. Life is loss, in installments.
It's getting lonely out here. Since this madness began I have steadfastly refused to submit to any of it. I've never given a toss about social distancing, not worn a mask even a single time. I have of course not had any poison injections and I happen to have had COVID before it even had a name, first viral infection in 38 years for me and it hammered me because I neglected it till I had severe pneumonia. But I have immunity to it and probably won't get another viral infection I'll notice for the rest of my life on balance.
I could write a book on the things I have witnessed since August 2019, the rising hysteria and insanity which is going on. It has gone into Twilight Zone territory and it doesn't feel like any exaggeration saying it's like something from The Matrix and a slowly developing zombie movie. There'd be no point because anyone left to read it, is doubtless seeing the same things, or soon will be. I'm kind of an outsider. Never been able to find harmony among the flock, I was an outcast as a kid, fought every bully in every school just because I'd always preferred to die fighting injustice than submit to tyranny. 59 years old and nothing much has changed. Except the bully is bigger. Still nobody else in the whole schoolyard has the gumption to stand up as well. Even though many of them secretly tell me they agree. They know it is bullshit, but they would rather submit than stand against a bully.
I am no hero. More of an anti-hero if anything. yet it is their cowardice and cravenness which makes the one who won't bend over to be fucked look like a hero. Because admitting he's just a normal man, and they're a bunch of gutless cringing faggots would be a bit too high to reach.
It's getting lonely out here. Since this madness began I have steadfastly refused to submit to any of it. I've never given a toss about social distancing, not worn a mask even a single time. I have of course not had any poison injections and I happen to have had COVID before it even had a name, first viral infection in 38 years for me and it hammered me because I neglected it till I had severe pneumonia. But I have immunity to it and probably won't get another viral infection I'll notice for the rest of my life on balance.
I could write a book on the things I have witnessed since August 2019, the rising hysteria and insanity which is going on. It has gone into Twilight Zone territory and it doesn't feel like any exaggeration saying it's like something from The Matrix and a slowly developing zombie movie. There'd be no point because anyone left to read it, is doubtless seeing the same things, or soon will be. I'm kind of an outsider. Never been able to find harmony among the flock, I was an outcast as a kid, fought every bully in every school just because I'd always preferred to die fighting injustice than submit to tyranny. 59 years old and nothing much has changed. Except the bully is bigger. Still nobody else in the whole schoolyard has the gumption to stand up as well. Even though many of them secretly tell me they agree. They know it is bullshit, but they would rather submit than stand against a bully.
I am no hero. More of an anti-hero if anything. yet it is their cowardice and cravenness which makes the one who won't bend over to be fucked look like a hero. Because admitting he's just a normal man, and they're a bunch of gutless cringing faggots would be a bit too high to reach.
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Always a joy to read, thank you.