Pseudo Drivers, Doctors and Presidents

[Vung Tau, 6/29/24]

Here in Vung Tau, cafe loiterers are chattering about Euro 2004, of how Czechia and Denmark were stiffed, Germany was gifted and England had a near death experience. Georgia surprised. France vs. Belgium tonight will cause some bettors to lose their entire savings or even house. Big winners can buy a new vehicle or vacation in Nha Trang, Đà Nẵng, Phú Quốc or even Bangkok.

A traffic accident on 6/27/24 is still talked about. Occurring just a block from my predawn coffee spot, it killed two and injured five, two seriously. The 37-year-old driver was well trashed and didn’t even have a driver’s license. Granddaughter of a judge, she’s a real estate speculator. Since the white Honda was under her boyfriend’s name, it’s assumed she had to hide some income. Among her victims was a 43-year-old trash collector who had just been hospitalized after being swiped by a motorbike. The fatalities were mother and daughter, 73 and 43 years old. Each evening, the old lady picked up her spinster after the latter had exercised at Triangle Park, half a block from my room.

Hearing about this the morning after, I noticed some people were so excited, they were borderline elated. Another’s death means you’ve won. After causing mayhem for 1/3 of a mile, this wheeled weapon finally knocked down a light pole, so could go no further. Emerging unscathed, the driver seemed ready for another round. The night was still young. The inclusion of a car driving school in horrible news photos has provoked much laughter. Finally crying at the police station, she won’t likely serve ten years even. With much of her assets concealed, it will be difficult to extract compensations. Soon enough, this story will fade.

Of course, Americans are buzzing over the Trump/Biden pseudo debate. The Jewjab, Ukraine and Gaza genocides weren’t touched upon. Instead, these two clowns insulted each other and flexed their golf drive. Mine is way longer than yours. To prevent eruptions of howling laughter, there was no audience. To save Biden from soiling himself in public, two moderators were installed. Only Jill Biden thinks they were successful. After the South Sudanese president was shown pissing in his pants at a solemn ceremony in 2022, six journalists were arrested. Jake Tapper and Dana Bash did their best.

Hunter Biden’s pay-to-play scheme was also très treyf. Out in Oakland, Sheng Thao is in deep shit for exactly that. With her black boyfriend and Vietnamese financier, the Hmong mayor thought she could pull off a Joe Biden! This multicultural gang must be celebrated!

To doofuses, Thao’s conviction will prove America is just and democratic. Similarly, the system worked when a dermatologist, Windell Davis-Boutte, was stopped from performing cosmetic surgeries after only a hundred botched operations. On TikTok, Doctor Bootie sang and danced. Wearing shades in a dark theater, she blew a party horn then pointed to an unconscious and nonconsenting client’s exposed buttocks, mercifully blurred. This minstrel classic must be studied at universities. One patient suffered permanent brain damage. Another woke in a hotel room holding a McDonald’s burger, a fair enough consolation for her disfigurement. Unlike Fauci and Wallensky, Doctor Bootie hasn’t butchered millions, though, and she hasn’t raked in billions like drug lord Albert Bourla.

If even a two-bit crook like you has much to disguise or bury, what makes you think the biggest dogs are up front about anything? Suckling spectacles, we’re soothed.

Away just three weeks, I returned to find a newly opened cafe, Chậm [Slow], was already dead. The stock at Linh Phương keeps dwindling, so there’s no more salami au poivre or chorizo picante, etc. Moonlight Pub and Tiger Bar died a few months ago and much ballyhooed Phở Thìn has moved to a cheaper location. Though similar clues exist everywhere, ostriches will insist everything is fine.

Biden slurred and mumbled that inflation, unemployment and crime numbers are all down. Since Bette Midler, Barbra Streisand and Seth Abramson believe him, you should also. When 58 shots were fired at a Philly street corner on 6/27/24, no one outside that calm city heard about it, so everything is fine. On the first day of summer school at Ben Franklin High, two girls were beaten and stomped on. Youths will be youths. On reality show Baddies Caribbean, Philly legend Meatball floored Big Gretch within two seconds. Meatball’s meaty fists make me proud.

Pay close attention to local news, and prices, too, to see where your life is headed. Don’t drive but walk a few miles through your hood. So this is how it is, you can say before expiring.

Here, a plate of bánh cuốn can be had for a buck. Excellent noodles with pork or beef cost two. Even cheaper is rice with boiled vegetables and fermented tofu, with crushed peanuts, sesame and salt, or just lard and some fish sauce. At Albanian eateries, I saw people ordering spaghetti with just butter, likely mixed with oil. For two whole dollars, I got spaghetti with red sauce and cheese at Gjelltore Sauku!

In coming years, this Rimbaud line will increasingly resonate, “Once, if I remember well, my life was a feast where all hearts opened and all wines flowed.”

[Vung Tau, 6/29/24]

[Vung Tau, 6/29/24]

[Vung Tau, 6/30/24]

[Vung Tau, 6/28/24]