You'll Never Stroke Alone

[Vientiane, 1/11/20] Under the aegis of the World Health Organization and with financial backing from Hunter Biden, I’m starting a global dating service, Analfuck69 (Hunter’s idea). In this era of social isolation, economic hardship, cultural degradation, screen addiction and food shortages, it’s getting harder to make friends, much less go on a date. Still, no man, woman, transsexual or child should have to masturbate alone, so stop it now! Whatever your perversion(s), you’ll find your perfect match(es), sort of, on Analfuck69. With endless virtual partners, you can stroke together until Armageddon. (Though it may come next week, there will be no refund on your lifetime subscription. Sorry!)

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